Gyant Unplugged

ABC’s “Nightline” aired a fascinating segment on the subject of S.B.W — Single Black Women.

“Nightline” correspondent Lindsay Davis explores one of the most crippling elements within the African-American community. In the clip above she tracked Nicole Marchand, Chato Waters, Jakene Ashford and Melinda Watson who are all beautiful, uber successful black women, and are 100% single.

Shocking statistics suggest that 42% of black women have never been married. A shocking statistic indeed. But not at all surprising if you break down the numbers:

• There are 1.8 million more black women then there are black men.
• One out of twelve black women would be single should every single black women be married today.
• If you eliminate black men who lack a high school diploma, employment and scratch out those who are incarcerated, black women only have 54% of black men to pick from.

The new information is interesting to say the least. And while everyone has their two-cents on the issue, I believe the answer is staring us right in the face.Black men are outnumbered by black women.

Being a resident of Atlanta, GA. I often times hear stories from my single black female friends who argue that though Atlanta has become the “black mecca” for some in terms of career, it can often times become a cestpool [please note not cesspool #imjustsayin] for scheming women, unfaithful men and playboy antics. As a single black man myself, I  can understand both sides of the coin.

Black men don’t want to settle down when they’re in a city that reveres them most. A mildly successful African-American male, with a semi decent automobile and a barely there personality could have hundreds of African-American women lined up willing to do whatever they have to land him. And in my efforts to keep it real, I gotta admit that in Atlanta you don’t even have to have that to get at least 10 females lined up. I know quite a few brutha’s who use public transportation to get to the nightclubs, yet miraculously still have a cell phone full of female contacts who are all vying for attention.   Hey, I’m speaking truth here folks.

In the segment above, Radio Personality turned TV correspondent Steve Harvey ascertains that the lack of African-American men who choose to stand up and claim their future wives, stems from a lack of leadership from within the black male community. But is it that simple?

Steve says that his generation failed in teaching today’s progressive African-American male the fundamentals of treating black women. And that the most logical answer for black women who desperately desire to be affianced is to either lower their often times unobtainable standards [compromise], or simply expand their mental horizon when it comes to dating older black men.

While, I can’t say that I agree with Harvey’s suggestions on the latter, I can definitely co-sign his notion that the previous generation of black men has failed in teaching my generation on how to treat a lady — and I’m mean the ladies too.

In his new book, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment, Harvey breaks down a lot of the universal problems in the women/male dynamics. But more importantly, the book talks about how women, particularly black women, should resist the idea of setting the standards for their mates too high. A fact I see daily from many of my black female friends.

While I would never suggest to understand what its like to be a black women in 2009, I do personally believe that a lot of times, African-American women –actually all women in general– set way too many expectations on their future mate. Height, skin complexion, dick size, etc often times replace more important characteristics like love, honor, and the unwavering sense of self.

The African-American communities ambivalence towards monogamy, commitment, responsibility and love is staggering. And I fear that if we all don’t wake up, and find a sense of racial and social responsibility of teaching our children and ourselves to love, respect, and honor each other within a loving committed relationship, the next generation of black women are going to have it MUCH worse.

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Tags: Atlanta, Black Women, Real News, TV Scoop

This entry was posted on Sunday, December 27th, 2009 at 10:53 amand is filed under Real News, TV Scoop, Video. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.