Gyant Unplugged

Gyantunplugged.com is opening up to the idea of attaching guest bloggers to the site. I think we all know how opinionated I can become, so I think offering up a few guest blogger opportunities would keep things fresh and exciting. And since we keep it real around here, Guest blogger K.I.M. aka “Keep It Music” has a few words for Slim Thug over his lack fan appreciation.

But first check out who K.I.M. is.

Allow me to introduce myself, my name is KIM… K to the I M (in my JayZ voice) lol!
I am a fan of Music, a hip hop baby; I’m probably friends with your favorite rapper, and definitely friends with your favorite rapper’s favorite rapper. Some of my friends work at labels, run labels and/or have their own label. I have participated in and/or overheard conversations about this business that would surprise you all. I’ve seen things happen that surprise me still.

This will not be a gossip blog per se’. I’m not biased nor will I favor any side artist or label I’m just here to share my opinions. I’m here to talk about MUSIC, everything involved, included and surrounding it. To my industry friends; if you’re my friend you already know I’m REAL and I’m going to speak the TRUTH even if it bodies you, if you are offended, it’s just my opinion and we all have them. If you’re no longer my friend after this then you never were. So let’s have fun, chop it up and Keep It Music.

Let me make one thing clear, Irv could NEVER get it, couldn’t even taste it but I f*ck with him and I’ll tell yall why…

Relationships in general are complicated, music and relationships make for a funny combination, music and marriage even more so. I don’t necessarily blame the music business for the failure of relationships/marriages as a lot of people tend to do but I think it compounds situations because it brings one of the parties into more frequent direct contact with other people and attraction is natural. People need to face it and I’ve been married so I feel I’m qualified to say this, you will be attracted to other people for the rest of your life (unless you sit your ass in a room holed up with your significant other, then they’ll probably get on your f*cking nerves).

I think this industry is wonderful, I love it! Where else could you travel the world doing what you love to do and meet and interact with new people constantly? Unfortunately for some in relationships it is then that you will meet your soul mate or someone that you just click with for no reason, then what do you do? Most people try to ignore it, deal with it on a “when I’m in that town basis” but what happens when you fall in love with that person and out of love with your partner? Or how about this, what about if you had fallen out of love with your partner long before but you were just staying in the situation because you were trying to do what’s “right” or felt obligated or for the kids?

It’s no secret that most men in the industry cheat. I think it’s sad but I think even their partners except this as part of the norm. It seems that these women don’t really say too much about the groupies as long as it stays on the road or doesn’t get too close to home or in their face. But they completely lose it when these men have an actual “relationship” with another women, then they want to scream, cry, threaten etc (what a double standard). I wonder if these women don’t get caught up in the hype of being Mrs. So & So. To me that’s bullshit because I personally would have a problem across the board and I’m like hey if you want to roam the streets fine, do you just let me know so I can do me. I don’t want yall to think that I’m saying it wouldn’t bother me or that I wouldn’t be hurt but life is too short for that dumb shit and everything happens for a reason. Instead of these women putting their faith in God cus’ if it’s meant to be it will be; these chicks want to use the children as weapons, threaten to take him for all his money/material things, etc. That’s just sad because the end result winds up being a man who will continue to cheat but stay in the relationship because he doesn’t want to lose his relationship/access to his children and/or everything that he has worked so hard for so he ends up staying; cheating anyway and what he worked for becomes his shackle and the woman not being happy anyway. So what’s the point?

Why I respect Irv… Irv was/is man enough to tell Deb that he can’t be faithful. He said Deb is very special and he loves her, would do anything for her but that she’s not special enough for him to stop f*cking. That statement was CRAZY! I really felt her pain when he said it, but, how can you be mad when he’s telling her the truth. She’s lucky for that because there are soo many women who never get that. Irv still takes care of her and the kids, he still appears to be a good father. I think Deb is the wrong one at this point, it looks like she uses those kids to try to get to him. The head games and the “do yall want mommy and daddy to get a divorce” and the little dude running off crying and all that emotional shit is shameful. She needs to stop using those kids as pawns, that’s some bullshit. I understand she’s probably hurt but didn’t she say he told her that shit 7 years ago? Who’s really to blame for her life now? Her!

I know of three rappers cheating or in similar situations right now.

One lives in New York has decided that he is going to further explore the other relationship, told his wife and he’s being a man about it. I applaud that because there is no bullshit involved and everybody knows what’s what. He still maintains the relationship with his kids cus’ him and his wife know that ultimately the kids are the most important and the family unit prevails and remains intact. His wife is of course not happy but she hasn’t threatened to take him for all his shit nor has she interfered with him and his access to the kids or defamed his character to them. That’s an ideal situation but it shows that when two people act like adults things can proceed smoothly.

The second lives in Atlanta, his story is the exact opposite. This dude is just grimy. The stuff he does is unconscionable. I mean this dude told me he has been cheating since the second year of the marriage then once he got on, I think he went crazy. I mean its not like he’s the flyest dude around and he was broke before and kind of chubby so I don’t think he really got any play from the ladies, he has a nice personality but we all know that’s the last thing you usually notice in a person. Anyway, this dude is a dog for real I mean he’s even sleeping with a girl from his label that’s at his house with his wife and family frequently. That’s disrespect at it’s highest level and he don’t seem to think nothing is wrong with it, he told me it’s actually easier because she works at the label the wife don’t say much cus’ she’s always around, f*cking crazy! He’s described his marriage to me as him being “stuck”, “trapped”, “so f*cked” etc. He says he only stays because he doesn’t want to deal with the conflict, he created a lifestyle and doesn’t want to give up half of his money and he wants to live with his kids. He slipped up and fell in love with a girl a while ago and was ready to end it but his mother and friends told him to “do the right thing” think of everything he was going to lose financially and about his kids. He said he hasn’t been “in” love with his wife for some time now but he does love her. He feels almost a resentment because she didn’t fully support him before he got on but now that he’s on he knows she would go after him and while he feels she deserves something, half ain’t it. He said his wife found out about the other girl and “lost her mind, she’s f*cked up in the head now” . He says his wife threatened to take him to the cleaners and he is so scared to face that along with losing his kids that he decided to try to stay in the situation. He tried to stay away from the girl he fell in love with. He tried playing perfect husband spending more time with his wife and kids even going to the extent of getting his wife’s name tattooed on him, but he wears a piece of jewelry to cover it when he’s out (lol! dude is a f*cking nut for that). The biggest thing he hates is that he is in love with someone else and feels there’s nothing he can do about it, he has no friends he can really talk to because even though he’s surrounded by people he knows none of them are “real” friends and all his boys seem to think is man f*ck her, there’s bad chicks everywhere and man ain’t no b*tch worth giving up half your money for. He has gone so far as to try to avoid the one he loves all the while secretly calling, emailing and seeing her etc. cus’ he just cant leave her alone he loves her and one sight of the other girl and he’s back at zero again. The funny thing is his wife is only really upset about the girl he fell for because he told me recently his wife went through his blackberry and saw messages to/ from the girl he fell for and woke him up with a gun cocked in her hand (that’s f*cking crazy!) Now to avoid a “relationship” or him getting caught up again he’s sleeping with damn near any and everything and has decided to keep a stripper with a bad lace front wig around as his side piece (lol!) cus’ I guess then it’s all about the dough and there aren’t any emotions involved. End result not only does he perform on stage now he performs all day everyday at home. That’s got to be hard wouldn’t wish that on anyone. His situation will ultimately crash because everything done in the dark comes to light sooner or later. Would Deb rather live this industry wife’s life? Again, Irv is right Deb got it good.

The third dude’s story is really crazy dude lives between New York and Atlanta. He was messing with a girl for a while fell madly in love with her, his wife found out and all sorts of shit popped off. He left the girl he was messing with alone to do the “right thing” and be with his wife. Then his wife started to come to every one of his shows (f*ck a bodyguard he got 24/7 security for real). And he called me recently to say that he doesn’t think his child is his and he’s going to get a DNA test and that he thinks she’s cheating on him. Wow! Is that karma or not? He sat down and talked to his woman, told her everything (confessed and I mean everything), went to counseling and they decided they were going to work past it but looks like she never did. Looks like she got her a side piece (with a biscuit, lol!) and started stepping out on him right when he started being faithful to her. We say we will forgive and try to forget but can you ever really forgive/forget? I really don’t think so, I think that whenever something comes up again the person that was cheated on is going to get that funny feeling and it’s going to bring everything back up. I don’t necessarily think that’s wrong, I’m not sure I even think we can control it. I think it’s just being human and we are emotional beings. With the recent events he’s now divorcing his wife, he contacted the girl he used to see about getting back together, doing it right and being with her because he really did and still does love her, he was just trying to do what was “right” by his marriage and she wants nothing to do with him because of how he left her before, she really loved him and he loves her but he missed out on it because he tried to do the “right thing”.

I thought the “right thing” was to live your life honestly, take care of your responsibilities and try to be happy. I don’t understand this “right thing” being sacrifice yourself, live miserably and be unhappy just to make sure someone else is, wtf!

SIDENOTE: What is it about black men that get so tied to the money that they will sacrifice their happiness and everything else for it? It’s funny to me because a white man will get divorced pay whatever he’s supposed to and go on to make more money before they stay in a situation they don’t want to. I asked one of my friends does he really think that the marriage is going to survive the way that it is, I mean at some point it’s going to explode and unless he thinks he’s never going to make anymore money she’s going to get half of more money later. His response was, I’m right but he’s afraid. Living your life in fear of what’s to come when the shit hit’s the fan is a fate I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

I commend Irv for being up front with Deb it takes courage and strength to be real and honest with yourself first enough to know that you can’t do something everyone else expects you to do, second with the woman you promised to be with and third to the children you brought into this world, all the while everyone else watches and pops shit and in the face of adversity, criticism and ridicule. He’s not wrong for deciding to want to live his life another way, people change (or remain the same and get tired of acting like someone they’re not). Deb has it made because she doesn’t have to walk around blind, questioning or not knowing. Irv may be an asshole but he’s honest and what more can we ask or expect from anyone.

I think the same holds true for the situation with Swizz Beatz and Mashonda, she’s all over the place slamming him and Alicia Keys and for what? We understand you’re hurt but come the f*ck on! As a woman you know when your relationship isn’t right and you either try to save it in the beginning or let it go and try to save it at the end when it’s often too late. You don’t wait until they find someone else and then try to blame that person. I know that if there isn’t a problem there is nothing another man can do to make me leave my man, there is only something MY Man can not do to make me leave him. Again, Swizz is taking care of his responsibility to his son and that’s all that should matter. Mashonda , umm boo I’m gonna’ need you to sit your ass down, you look pitiful.

We go into relationships full of hope and when we are saying the I love you forever’s and we’ll be together forever more often than not I think we really mean it, but what happens when the love changes? Do you stay with someone and suffer living a miserable life or do you free that person and yourself so that you can both go on and find love again?

Moral of this story…The only people we ever owe anything to is the children that we bring into this world, not the other person we brought them in with. Life is too short to not live it to the fullest at all times and we answer to no one but GOD.

What do you do when you are stuck between doing what’s right and what’s right?

K.I.M

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Tags: Guest Blogger, Guest Blogger K.I.M., Irv Gotti

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009 at 8:57 pmand is filed under Guest Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.